SPEEDY DIALOGUE PROVED TO BE AN ELABORATE HOAX
It has emerged tonight that the dialogue published in the earlier edition of the Chronicle is indeed, a fake.
A note was sent to the Chronicle offices this evening saying "It's a fake you fool! I set the whole thing up! Signed The Mad Speedster."
A medical team is tonight on alert for sightings of Speedy as it is clear that he is urgent need of medical attention at the Martinaville Rehab Centre. If you see him on the streets, please do not approach him as he may well break out into a song. Inform the Martinaville authorities who will take the necessary action to apprehend this man.
Psychologists tonight are investigating the reasons why Speedy would set up such an elaborate hoax. When asked this question, one leading psychologist answered "Dunno" and shrugged his shoulders.
It has also emerged tonight that Speedy isn't in fact married to three women. Two of them are cyber wives and therefore do not count as no marriage vows have been set. Ther warrant for his arrest has now been revoked, although the Police would like to interview Speedy about wasting their time. One officer tonight told the Chronicle, "heck, I was set to have a night off watching the ballgame tonight when I got the call from the Lieutenant to git my butt in 'ere".
The rep for the record label is tonight cursing his luck after finding himself $100 down after passing a note to the Judge, who it transpires, denies all knowledge of anything and everything.
Confused? So am I! Why have I written all this? Where am I? What is the meaning of life? Where is the Rehab Centre exactly??????????
Goodnight!
