A Country Song And A Cityscape, poem Options

[Ang Monique]

I thought maybe you all might appreciate this... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/happy.gif)

A Country Song and a Cityscape

West, into the sun,
setting flat against the road,
stretching forward, into limited sky.
The ribbon in my hair is
a wind-rider; tears
gleaming to the strings
of an old steel-guitar.

Light metallic taste trickles
from my fingertip, pressed
between my singing lips.
Still red with the memory of
mother’s sewing needle;
red with the opened flow of life
blood. Now tune-tapping on the wheel.

Scent of spring bloom:
apple blossoms
littering the home of my roots, while
Buck, Hank, Conway, and Loretta
fill the quota of my ear.
A dandelion dance plays out, roadside
to the highway breeze

of a country twang and a
ponytailed girl,
driving, city-bound.
The flaxen horizon breaks
at the turn of a hill; the four-coned
skyscraper slices vibrant into my eyes.
Pittsburgh blooms into the tableau;
and the radio dial turns.

[DaynaJones]

now this is good..........and Im not just saying that. I love it.

[MANDA!!!]

i like it!

[Ang Monique]

Thanks!!! I'm thinking it would make a better song, which I could do--rhythm and meter wise. But I don't write music. And I know I would never do anything with it as a song. If I keep working on it as a poem though, I can keep in my poetry collection, so yeah...

But thanks!

[amity]

Good job Ang. I love it!!!

And yeah it would be a better song, but I like it as a long poem also. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

[N3wY0rk_Hick]

omg